The Thing About Receiving

In my work with my clients, I see themes, week to week, in what’s coming up for people. And - it’s ALWAYS a reflection of what’s coming up for me.

That’s how being a healer works.

This week, it’s a really important theme. One that almost every woman I know is living or healing and definitely a lot of men too.

There’s a thing we’re doing when it comes to receiving. We seem to be trapped in our victimhood here, quite a lot more than I realized. We’re carrying this idea that we can’t receive and manifest powerfully if other people aren’t doing it. That it’s not fair. Or it will make them feel something they don’t want to feel. Or who are we to create and receive big gigantic good? Or it’s not ok for us to receive in big ways until everyone is receiving in big ways.

This is a particularly sneaky sort of victimhood called being a martyr. We think we’re doing something good for other people who are also playing the victim by keeping ourselves small, muted, in suffering and lack and struggle.

This is the biggest load of BS ever.

And I’ll be totally clear that I haven’t totally figured this one out yet. I’m not fully out of this. But I’m really working it because not only do I want to create in a big, powerful way always and to get out of my own victimhood, but I’m especially keen to stop victimizing others.

When we see another person as poor, or sad, or helpless, or incapable, we’re affirming those beliefs for them. We’re telling them, that, ‘yes, you are in fact sad and helpless and I’m so sorry for you. Bye.’

Ah! No. No way. No more. Can’t have it. NOT ok. And so not helpful.

So what do we do instead you say? Be powerful. Shine your own light. Don’t hold back. Don’t play small. Go after your big dreams. Create the shit out of some big time cash. Tell the person you love that you love them. A lot. We need to stop allowing other people’s victimhood to keep us trapped in our own or blast us up into superiority.

Allow your light, instead, to blast you forward on the path of your soul, and give others the opportunity to be inspired by the power you’re mustering to create change.

They won’t always receive that invitation to embrace their power. And guess what? If that’s the case, it’s not your problem. Everyone has the same amount of power inside of them. We’re all equal. No one is more or less powerful.

But we are at different levels of awareness and that’s a fact. Life is not fair. It never will be. And - we can all create positive shifts to continually make our lives better. It’s available to all of us.

And - this is also important. This doesn’t mean we stop supporting people around us that need it. This doesn’t mean we stop giving. This doesn’t mean we don’t hold compassion and love for people who are in the dirt at this stage in their lives. Definitely not. It just means we don’t help anyone by playing the victim alongside their victimhood. We stay up and support from there.

It’s all about upward growth. Not getting in the mud with people.

I’ll leave you with this amazing analogy, from my brilliant coach, Lindsey Lewis.

Imagine that when you’re born, you get a boat. It’s a one-man row-boat sized boat. And it’s yours and yours alone. From this boat, you navigate life.

Sometimes, people want to come into your boat because they like what you have going on in there, but because the boat is not big enough to hold two people, the minute you allow them in, things start to go very wrong. There’s tipping, and water coming in, and wrestling so as not to go overboard. Not good.

Same thing goes when we get into other people’s boats, which is what we do when we decide to step down into victimhood with someone else. They’re struggling in their ONE-MAN boat, and we think it’s helpful to get into their boat with them. No! This is the worst idea because not only are they suffering even more because you’re taking up valuable real estate in their boat, now you’re both struggling and who’s going to come save you?

So let’s all stay in our own boats and keep them all to ourselves. It’s the best way. It’s the most powerful way. It’s the most loving way. Promise.

Onwards and upwards, my friends.

Big love.