Let’s clear up the notion of forgiveness, shall we? Many people believe that forgiving someone means that what that person did was ok, that their behaviour was acceptable. A lot of the time, the things that cause us pain are definitely not ok, so let’s be clear that this is not at all what forgiveness means. Forgiveness is making the decision to let the past go and to be happy and peaceful now. It’s a form of release and surrender.  The Buddha teaches that the act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.  

Oprah was the first to really explain this to me. She told a story on one of her shows about a falling out she had with a friend of hers. She was holding a lot of anger towards this woman and some time later, Oprah saw the woman on the street getting into a car after a day of shopping. The woman was smiling and having a lovely time and Oprah realized that the anger she was holding for this woman was really only a detriment to herself. We sometimes think that we need to punish people for their actions by holding anger towards them but in truth, we’re only punishing ourselves. Another nugget of wisdom from Buddha, “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Holding  back forgiveness connects you energetically to the person who wronged you in an unhealthy way, which can sometimes perpetuate the poor treatment. According to the Law of Attraction, living in a state of unforgiveness means that one will continue to look for and attract situations that maintain this state. As soon as one can let go and forgive, this energetic attachment can be cleared and healed and the pattern of behaviour then ceases. A lot of unforgiveness sits at the subconscious level of the mind, which makes it difficult to be aware of, and can affect the forward momentum and general enjoyment of one’s life. For example, looking for a new partner while you’re holding lower energies towards a past partner can make the journey much more difficult. Same goes for all relationships, job opportunities, attracting abundance, and all other areas of life.

Often people think of forgiveness as pertaining to another person. However, the greatest amount of healing can come from forgiving ourselves for what we feel we have or have not done. We need to allow ourselves to be free of our own prisons. This also makes forgiving other people so much easier, and also encourages other people to forgive us. Back to that whole mirror deal.

Ok, so how do we do it? Psych-K is obviously my go-to. It has the ability to bring up situations that need forgiveness without you even being aware of them, and once they’re healed and addressed, they’re gone. Kaput. Doneskies. Bye bye now.

Another amazing strategy was brought to me by the oh-so-lovely Doreen Virtue, who got it from a man named John Randall Price. Make a list of any person, organization, animal, or entity that you feel any lower energies for (anger, annoyance, resentment, hurt, guilt etc) and go somewhere by yourself (with the list). One by one, say to each person on the list, one of the following two prayers:

“I love you, I forgive you, I hold no unforgiveness back, I am free and you are free, I let you go. “

“I forgive you completely and release you now into the love that is the truth about us both. I only retain the part of our relationship that is healed and based in love. I ask that all effects from mistakes from the past be undone and forgotten forever in time.”

Don’t feel bad if your list is really long. Mine was over three pages. After I had completed this exercise however, the relief and sense of peace I felt was so lovely.

I’m certain that by now, you’ve thought of at least one person you can forgive. Forgiveness is really an act of self love so do it now. Forgive that person, and all the people, and allow yourself to feel the peace and love that floods in to take the place of that which you were holding.